Debt Roulette, Apple’s M&A Wallet, & “Revlon Mode,” Revisited

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Happy Sunday, and welcome back to Dry Powder.

There are few deals in recent Wall Street history as notorious as the buyout of Citrix, or “Shitrix,” a chapter that mercifully ended this past week. Of course, Elon’s Twitter deal is one of them—and the lessons from Citrix point to where that trainwreck is likely headed. In today’s issue, some troubling back-of-the-envelope Twitter math; musings on Apple’s M&A “wallet”; and thoughts on Ron Perelman’s swan song.

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Debt Roulette, Apple’s M&A Wallet, & “Revlon Mode,” Revisited

News and notes on the inside story on Wall Street: the coming Elon debt crisis, more Shitrix porn, and a Ronald Perelman milestone.

WILLIAM D. COHAN

Wall Street doesn’t hold onto bad assets for long, and this past week, the books were finally closed on the Citrix buyout as the consortium of big banks involved in the deal—Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, and Credit Suisse, among others—sold the last tranche of the software company’s junior debt for 79 cents on the dollar, perfecting a collective loss of $1.5 billion. As Silicon Valley Bank discovered recently, disaster arises in banking when debt is bought, or underwritten, during one interest-rate environment and sold into another. I’m sure the good folks at UBS are enjoying the hit that their new toy, Credit Suisse, took on the “Shitrix” deal...

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